Aspirations

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When I was in school, my dad worked on the road so I didn’t get to see him very often at all.  There was only one thing I knew we had in common and that was basketball.

When he did have the chance to be home it was usually basketball season.  So I would sit on the floor next to his chair and watch the Bulls play.  I loved that so much I decided to play basketball when I got older.  I planned to play my way into college, and play college basketball so he could watch me on T.V.  I thought that no matter where he was, then he could be with me somehow.

That world came crashing down many years later….remember that older girl I told you about?  The one who took me to all the parties and introduced me to all the sexy guys?  She was 32, I was 17 and she got me noticed.  I didn’t think anything of it at the time, I was just excited to finally be noticed and not be a “nobody” for once, until one day……..

The Nurse Practitioner told me I was pregnant!  My FIRST THOUGHT was, I’ll never get to finish playing basketball, I won’t be able to play in college so my dad can watch me on T.V. and finally be proud of me.

Oh, no, quite the opposite.  Since I was the innocent invisible one in school, I didn’t have any friends and it just so happened the ONE FRIEND I did have, hated me for calling her a name I couldn’t take back even after a heart-felt apology, she rejected me.

Talked crap behind my back at school and made my life a living hell.  I knew I could go back, especially not now, not pregnant.  Abortion wasn’t an option and I knew there was no way I could give my baby up after carrying it for nine months.  I ended up going to an alternative school.  Had my baby a month early and wasn’t able to finish on time so I then ended up having to get my G.E.D. through the community college.

An honor student, never had been in trouble in my life, I kept to myself and didn’t squeeze in where I didn’t belong and this is what I got for ONE SUMMER of TRYING to make friends and finally BE SEEN by anyone, I didn’t care. I was all alone and depressed and felt like no one cared about me or loved me.  My dad was always gone, my mom was always distant, my sisters were besties, my older brother wouldn’t let me hang out with him and my younger brother was 5 years younger than me with nothing in common.

I was a true outsider and now I was about to become a teen mom with no future……..

TO BE CONTINUED……………

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About brainofchaos

With a passion of writing, I would just like to give readers a chance to see what I have to offer and give feedback on what they think. I hope to be an inspiration to others as well as find inspiration from others. Growing in the world of writing and friendships and looking forward to growing closer to my readers and exploring my passion for writing and learning new techniques. I give great thanks to all my readers and supporters. D.A.

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